Ryan likes eating

Posted by Danae

This morning we woke up and went downstairs to our complimentary buffet breakfast, which was very tasty. There was a chef that whipped up omelettes on demand, typical western breakfast foods, and interesting things like tasty fried rice, some sort of chilli pork stirfry and fried fish cleverly disguised as fried squid.

I was feeling pretty knackered since Chris had woken me up at the obscene hour of 4am, insisting since it was 7am Brisbane time it was awake time. Very annoying, but I suppose he was just excited to be finally on holiday.

We got to the airport mega early for our el cheapo Air Asia flight to Chiang Mai, and so Chrisy passed the time trying to jack wifi hotspots. Then after using up all the laptop battery, he found a faux floortile and realised that they had free electricity at the airport!

Our taxi ride to the hotel was good, and for a change we don't think we were gouged as it was a metered ride. Our taxi driver, whose name escapes me but let's call him Mr Driver, also offered his services as our tour guide for the next day. We later accepted his offer after checking out the rival rip-off merchants in our local area - his deal was pretty bloody good in comparison.

Our accommodation in Chiang Mai, Baan Orapin, is sensational. Very spacious and romantic with mosquito nets draped elegantly over the bed and the hosts are very friendly. After getting settled in, we headed off to explore the township. It reminded Chris and I a lot of Bali, with very narrow to nonexistent footpaths (but that's alright, cause drivers/riders just go around you which often consists of going on the other side of the road at regular intervals), and people selling stuff (the same same but different) which takes up the whole of any footpath. After Chrisy cracked the shits for us not having a plan as to where we were going, we headed off to a very touristy-looking establishment called the White Lotus. The staff didn't speak any English though, which made up for the tourist menu with steak n chips on the cover, and luckily we could still get authentic thai food which turned out to be absolutely delicious (though much more expensive than usual - cost us $5 instead of $2 or something like that).



We downed a few choice beverages, including a very refreshing watermelon daquiri, and headed off towards the night markets. We stocked up on some authentic red bull (Thailand is the home of real red bull!) which comes in a medicinal-looking bottle and tastes a bit funny too.


I naturally got distracted within a short distance by signs declaring cheap massages, so off I went for what promised to be an hour long thai massage but what turned out to be an incredibly painful experience. It was like a cross between a pilates/yoga lesson and some sort of torture session, as they pulled and contorted and pummelled my body in every which way. Despite grimacing in pain and trying to get them to tone it down, it was alas to no avail due to the language barrier so I just had to tough it out. Whilst waiting for the others to come back and collect me, I was again suckered in by the promise of tailormade suits next door and before I knew it, I was being measured up and handing over my baat for a three piece suit.


Later, at what we thought were the night markets, Heidi and I (the boys had run off in search of more beers) spent a long time and several hundred baat on purchases. It was then that we realised that we hadn't even entered the actual market area but had been looking at stalls up to the entrance. The place was huge; a wonderful bustle of colour and activity. We made the mistake of sampling a local wine producer's wares - a nasty concoction, it turned out, of lychee wine that tasted and smelled suspiciously of methalyated spirits.


Meanwhile, Chris and Ryan were in desperate search of a toilet as the effects of Ryan's airplane noodles took their toll. It was a race against time, as they frantically searched the market area for anything resembling a toilet. Luckily, they eventually found something which didn't resemble a toilet but had running water, so he used that but was forced to wipe his arse with a muay thai brochure (handy). Unbelievably, the toilet came at a cost of 2 baht despite its limited offerings.


Over the course of the day, Ryan had numerous pad thais but his experience was complete when he stopped for a 20 baat course of the same at a roadside eatery; his best yet.

We later met up again for dinner at about 9.30pm, Ryan's fifth meal (or so) of the day, which involved some incredibly fiery duck stirfry/curry. As my Dad would say, it would have put hairs on your chest (not that either Ryan or Chris need help in that department and Heidi and Danae certainly don't want any!). It was at the Riverside Brasserie which had pretty lanterns strung up all around it and a view over the Ping River, which is more brown and stinky than the Brisbane River. There was some interesting entertainment in the form of Thai men singing western songs, including Wild Rose by Nick Cave.